H1Z1 Chapter 10

There are no words to fully describe the horror which was pulsing through my mind and charging through my body as the thing in front of me stopped it's grotesque motions almost at the same time as the resounding boom of the shotgun shell echoed off the wall of the building beside us.

I watched as, in slow motion, its skull disintegrated, blood and ichor spraying across the pavement and painting a macabre moire of pinkish death where a man's head once lay.

I wanted to vomit.

I wanted to scream.

I wanted to run, the raving voice in my head screeching that this wasn't possible, this wasn't real, I couldn't have just killed two people, there are more there are more there are more there are ...

"Dad," Bill whispered, the dogs looking calmly at me as though they knew that the immediate danger was over. "Dad, are you OK?"

I turned to look at him. He was calm. His young mind wasn't raving like a lunatic, screaming to get out of here, to run, to hide, to pretend it had never happened. His young mind, I realized, was flexible enough to acknowledge and understand the shift in reality the world around us had taken, and to take it in stride. His young mind saw that I had a good plan and that it was up to us to make sure the rest of our family survived the zombie pandemic. His young mind, and his clear, calming eyes brought me back, and I firmly shoved the madman in my head, kicking and screaming all the way, to the back of my consciousness.

"Son, you handled that well. I am very proud of you. Way to keep the dogs safe, too - good job, Son."

"Thanks, Dad. But, I ..."

I looked him over, searching his small frame. "What is it, Son?"

"I was scared, Dad."

"Well, so was I. There's nothing wrong with being afraid. It's what you do with that fear that makes a statement, Son. You did good."

"Thanks, Dad," he managed, still looking at the ground. "But can we grab some clean underwear and a clean pair of pants while we're in there? Please?"

It was then that I saw what was bothering him. In the terror of the moment, he'd wet himself. Yet he'd stood strong, even as his little body was betraying him. All thoughts of my own fear were gone and I smiled with both pride and compassion. "Of course we can, Son. I may need a new pair my own self."

He didn't believe me, but he met my eyes and slowly, my smile.

"I guess we'd better get to work, huh?" I asked, tousling his hair and reaching down to pat the dogs each on the head.

"Well, it's now or never, Dad."

I turned to the door, swallowing, as the fear tried to return to the forefront of my mind.

Not this time. It's time to just head in and kick some zombie ass, I thought, stepping over Marie's corpse.